In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
