haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize