you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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