Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
