Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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