Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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