Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
