I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
