Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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