Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
