Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
