In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also, beer. Big fan.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
