I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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