Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
