He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
