why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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