phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
