Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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