Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
