I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
