I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
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After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
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I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
A+ Viking dick
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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