Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
