Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize