Can i not drive my cunt home
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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