shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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