I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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