9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
