Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
