Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize