I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
