lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
