Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
