He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
