Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
