Don't you send me to vm
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
