you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
jump out the window naked night went bad
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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