i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's never too late to be topless.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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