I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
