u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
