escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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