he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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