Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
