why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
