If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
