WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
