My cat gives me a boner
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
