Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
