Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
