Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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