thus making me awesome and them whores
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize