I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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