It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
