he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize