apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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