They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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