Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
