Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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