he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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