My sheets look like a crime scene.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
