Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize