my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize