nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
