sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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