I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
